Frequently Asked Questions
Most frequent questions and answers
How do you pronounce your name?
I pronounce it LAN-uh with a schwa like banana in American English.
OK, so how do -I- pronounce your name?
You should pronounce it however YOU say “banana.”
Even if I don’t say it the American way?
Yes, especially if you don’t. I had a Manchurian roommate so I gave up the fight for American pronunciation in favor of not turning the TV off while I was still watching it.
Great, now, what’s your last name?
Technically, Johnson. Wood is my middle name.
Who names their child "Wood"?
Cool people. But it’s my maiden name. My birth middle name was Marie like 1/3 of all female identified babies born in the late 70s and early 80s. I changed it the first chance I got.
You know your names are euphem—?
Yes, I know…still better.
What I'm really looking for is your profile so I can put it in an article/program/website.
I have a question you haven't addressed here.
Feel free to reach out to me via my contact form. If I get enough similar questions I’ll update it, but know in advance that I don’t do other people’s homework for them. You don’t actually want me to do your homework, I’m HORRIBLE at it. I survived school on my test grades alone.